


unrequited love

by Onyxim



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: Casual Sex, Friends With Benefits, Idiots in Love, It's Soft, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 20:15:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Onyxim/pseuds/Onyxim
Summary: These nights, Noel cherishes every moment he and Cody share, because he knows that tomorrow morning they'll be back to "we won't talk about what we did last night" and "I only said what I said because I was horny."And that's fine.
Relationships: Cody Ko/Noel Miller
Comments: 3
Kudos: 53





	unrequited love

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine's day
> 
> as per usual, the song i listened to while writing: https://youtu.be/eRo_FFrliAs

"Shh," Cody says, giggling, pressing a finger messily against Noel's lips. "Gotta be quiet." 

"I am quiet." Noel fiddles some more with the keys. "Fuck, which one is the right one?" 

Cody, who has been busying himself with groping Noel whenever his hands can reach instead of unlocking the door to his own apartment, says, "The silver one." 

Noel manages to get the door unlocked and they spill into the inky darkness of the apartment. Cody shuts the door none-too-quietly and pushes Noel against it. 

"Your roommates home?" he asks. 

"Don't know," Cody says simply, "don't care." 

Noel's too drunk to question him further. 

It happens like this, sometimes. They get drunk, they start talking about things, and those things lead to conversations about loneliness, and then somewhere in between that and waking up the next morning, Noel ends up here, pressed against the front door, Cody mouthing messily at his neck.

In the morning they'll wake up and go on with their lives. They won't talk about it, they won't greet each other "good morning." Cody will say, "You want breakfast?" And Noel will say, "Yeah." And that's that. 

Noel tries not to think about that now. Tries not to think about how they'll sweep everything under the rug in the morning. For now, he focuses on Cody, who is slipping down to his knees. 

Noel raises an eyebrow. "Really?" 

He can't see the face Cody is making in the darkness, but he imagines that it's sheepish. "Always wanted to try," he breathes, feeling around for Noel's belt buckle. "Been wanting to all night." 

Noel swallows hard at that, steepling his fingers against the door. 

The apartment is unnervingly quiet. He can only hear his own panting breaths and the sound of Cody trying to drunkenly maneuver his zipper in the dark. Something in the back of his mind tells him that it's not that late, and his roommates can come out and see them at any point. 

Then Cody pops open his button with a resounding snap, and he stops thinking about it. 

"Don't make fun of me," Cody says softly. "It's my first time." 

"I won't," Noel assures, cursing how hoarse his voice has gone, "take your time." He takes one of his hands and buries it in Cody's hair in a manner he hopes is comforting. Cody makes a little noise and nuzzles forward, mouthing at the exposed skin above Noel's waistband. Noel bites back the urge to say something dirty about how eager he is.

Cody's hands are warm where they tug his pants down. Noel has to stifle the embarrassingly relieved sound that threatens to pass by his lips when he feels one of those gloriously warm hands wrap around him, curious. 

Cody does this for a moment, stroking him tentatively, before leaning forward and closing his lips around the head, and - oh, fuck. 

Noel's head thumps back against the front door. He closes his eyes, and though it's not much different from the utter darkness of the apartment, it feels less real that way, and that's how he needs it right now. It almost feels like one of his fantasies, the hand on his dick similar to his own. Except now he can feel the strands of hair between his fingers, feels the way Cody's mouth is closed around him, feels his tongue caressing and licking. 

Noel hisses Cody's name, fingers tightening. He feels more than hears Cody's answering moan and his pace picks up considerably as he redoubles his efforts, his free hand creeping up Noel's stomach. On instinct, Noel grabs it, holds it for dear life. He knows it's cheesy and sickeningly romantic for something that hasn't even got a label on it, but it feels right. 

"Cody," he gasps, "Cody." 

"Hm?" Cody hums, pulling off, stroking him twice as fast now. Noel detects a hint of smug satisfaction when he says, "Close?" 

"I - " He groans. His toes are curling in his shoes. "God - _fffuck -"_

"Yeah," Cody rasps, and seals his lips back over him. 

He tugs one, two, three times and Noel spills into his mouth with a moan he smothers into his fist, some semblance of sanity coming back to him and reminding him that there may or may not be people in the apartment. Legs trembling, he runs his fingers through Cody's hair.

"God _damn,"_ he pants.

Cody chuckles and stands. He goes in to kiss him. 

Noel pulls away, putting a hand to Cody's face. "Nuh-uh. Not 'till you rinse your mouth." 

Cody huffs, breath puffing against Noel's face. "Dude, it's _your_ cum." 

"Doesn't mean I want it in _my_ mouth." Noel gives him a playful push. "Listerine. That way." 

Cody sighs. He leans in and plants a fat kiss on his cheek just to spite him. "Ha," he says for good measure, before heading toward the bathroom. 

Noel feels his butterflies fluttering around in his stomach. He blames his post-orgasm haze, because he always goes a little stupid when he comes so hard. 

Pulling his pants back up enough to be decent, he quietly pads towards Cody's room. He sees no sign of life in the other two bedrooms; the lights are off, there's no sound. He releases a relieved breath that he didn't know he was holding. If there are people home, at least they're asleep.

In Cody's room he sinks down onto the bed, reaching over to turn on the lamp. He has to blink a few times because his eyes are now accustomed to the darkness, so his vision swims a little before it settles. 

Cody enters the room quietly. Now bathed in warm yellow light, he looks thoroughly debauched, his hair mussed and his cheeks ruddy. 

"All clean," he announces, closing the door behind him. "Can I kiss you now?" 

"Hm," Noel quips thoughtfully. "I'll be the judge of that." 

Mischief flickering in his eyes, Cody joins him on the bed. "Lights on, huh?" 

"Yeah," Noel says, prompting Cody to lay on his back. "Wanted to see you."

It may be his imagination, but Cody's blush deepens. 

Cody's mouth tastes strongly of mint. The way they kiss is lazy and familiar, two lovers coming together again. When they kiss, there is no _what if, what if, what if_...it just _is_. And it is good. 

Cody is pliant and warm underneath him, his hands alternating between Noel's hair and his shoulders. His hips are twitching up into Noel's, and despite his obvious desperation for contact he seems more preoccupied with kissing Noel senseless, trying to spoon out his soul with his tongue.

Ignoring the oddly sentimental feeling he's getting, he pulls away to press kisses to the sensitive spot under Cody's jaw. He loves kissing Cody there, and he knows Cody does too, if the way he arches and gasps is anything to go by. 

Noel knows his body very well. Knows that if he bites here, his arms come up around him, holding him there. A touch here, he'll get a breathy sigh. A brief, light caress _here_ and he gets a stifled groan that's halfway excitement and exasperation. 

Noel knows his body very well. Two lovers coming together again. It's all so familiar. 

Why were they still dancing around this? 

Cody makes a desperate noise. "Will you just fucking - " a sharp inhale, " - just do something. Please." 

"Do what?" Noel says innocently, his fingers inching their way beneath the waistband of Cody's sweats. He pulls away to examine his handiwork: the sizeable mark on the side of Cody's neck. There's no way he'll be able to cover it up. A thrilled spark shoots up his spine. 

_Mine_ , he thinks, and promptly dismisses. 

"Anything. Fuck." One of Cody's legs come up to fold at the knee, pushing impatiently against Noel's hip. He's looking at him with glazed, lust-blown eyes that make Noel weak, weak for him in every way, eager to give him everything he wants and more. Noel wonders if Cody knows just how much power he holds over him. He has to, because why else would he be looking at him like that? 

Noel swallows, a smug comment dying on his tongue. "Anything?" 

"Yeah." A hand comes up to his face. "Anything." 

God. 

"Still got lube?" 

Cody looks surprised, like he was expecting him to say something else. "T-top drawer." 

Noel reaches over and rummages through the drawer, grasping the bottle clumsily. When he's hovering over Cody again, he's grinning. 

"Stop looking at me like that," Cody says. 

"Like what?" Noel tugs at his shirt. Cody wriggles out of it, tosses it to the floor. 

"Like you wanna eat me or something." 

"Hmm," Noel says. He traces the flush creeping down Cody's chest. "Maybe I do." 

Cody gives a punched-out sound at that. 

Noel drags Cody's sweatpants down his legs, raking his gaze downward as he goes. The warm glow of the lamp paints him so prettily. He's gorgeous like this, looking up at Noel like he'd break without him. It makes Noel's breath catch in his throat. 

"Beautiful," Noel murmurs, his mouth moving without his permission.

Cody smiles a little at that. He averts his eyes. "Stop, dude." 

He scrambles to save himself. "What? It's true." Down come Cody's boxers. It's a rare occurrence that either of them are completely naked during these encounters, and the privilege of getting to see the entire expanse of Cody's skin is always something he holds dearly. Cody's very much a _"I don't want to be naked unless both of us are naked"_ kind of person because it makes him feel vulnerable. However, nights like these are the ones where he's the right amount of drunk, and these are also the nights where they both say shit they'd rather not repeat the next morning for fear of becoming something with a label on it. 

These nights, Noel cherishes every moment he and Cody share, because he knows that tomorrow morning they'll be back to "we won't talk about what we did last night" and "I only said what I said because I was horny." And that's fine. But if moments like this are rare, then Noel's gonna take full advantage of them.

He leans down to kiss Cody again. After laying down so long, Cody's body has gone soft in combination of being drunk and completely relaxed, so he moves his lips almost absentmindedly against Noel's, content to hand over the reigns and lay pliant. Noel journies to his neck and down his chest, skips his nipples because he knows they aren't very sensitive, but there's a spot on his right hip that is. Cody makes a quiet, pleased noise. Noel sits up between his legs and sees that his eyes are half-lidded, well on their way to being closed.

Noel uncaps the lube. "This okay?"

Cody makes another non-committal sound. 

"Cody." 

"Hmm?" His eyes roll open lazily. "Yeah?" 

"Bitch are you _falling asleep?"_

"Maybe." 

"Wooow." 

"It's relaxing," Cody mumbles, "and I'm sleepy." 

"Oh, is that right? Guess I'll stop then." Noel makes to move away. 

"Wait, no, no, come back. I'll stay awake." Cody grabs his arm, drags him down towards him. "Just - make me come. Please." 

Noel licks his lips. "How?" 

"Like - " Cody's eyes flit away from him momentarily, embarrassed, "like this. In your arms." 

It's Noel's turn to blush. It's not the weirdest thing they've done; he's fingerfucked Cody more times than he can count at this point, but. . .never face-to-face. Never while _looking_ at each other. "Okay," he says, his voice a little breathier than he'd like to admit. "I can do that." 

He leans back a little to get the lube properly on his index and middle fingers. They're both breathing heavily now, something new and electric running through them at the prospect of uncharted territory. This is. . .there's a line, here, to be crossed. A line that, once crossed, will _change_ things. 

It's funny how something as natural and human as eye contact can create the rift between _causal_ and _intimate_. 

Noel holds Cody's hip soothingly as he introduces him to his first finger, and after a while, the second. Cody keeps his eyes closed until he reapplies lube to his fingers to insert a third, and his fingertips bump into that spot that, normally, Noel would see him react to from behind. From behind, Cody would bury his noises into a pillow or his forearms, and Noel would watch his hands clench and unclench in the sheets. It was the only real indication that any of it was pleasurable for him.

But now, _now_ he sees little things he never noticed just staring at the back of Cody's head. Now he sees his spine arch upward, sees the way his lips part in a barely-controlled gasp, watches his dick twitch and leak precum onto his belly. He notices that his eyebrows furrow together like he's concentrating, and his eyes roll closed when Noel hits his prostate head on. 

One of his hands slip down to grasp himself where he's leaking onto his stomach. Noel bats it away. Cody doesn't muffle his frustrated groan.

"No," Noel says firmly. "You're gonna come like this. On my fingers." 

_"Noel - "_ Cody chokes on a breath, his hips twitching upwards as Noel curls his fingers. 

"That's it," he murmurs.

The motion of his fingers is gentle, unlike the other times where he rushes just to get his dick inside him. He coaxes out a side of Cody he's never seen before. He's making these depraved, breathy little moaning noises that cut themselves short like he's trying to be quiet. Noel will be having none of that. Fuck his roommates. 

Noel leans forward to suck another mark onto Cody's neck. He gets the response he wanted - Cody arches again, one of his hands flailing up to clutch at Noel's back. He drives his fingers faster, now, just to hear those stifled cries jump in volume. He curls them upward as he drags them out, just to feel Cody clench around him.

"Fuck." Cody's legs tremble where they rest against his hips. "F-fuck, Noel, I _can't_ \- I can't - "

Noel buries his own groan into Cody's shoulder. "You _can."_

He pulls back when he hears Cody's noises start to go up an octave. His head thrown back against the pillows, hair falling out of its careful style, eyebrows drawing together, he's an absolute work of art, a dream, he's _everything_. 

Taking pity on the desperate way Cody's hips roll up with the motions of his fingers, he reaches down to take his dick in hand. Cody withers, making an inarticulate, frenzied noise, and looks up at Noel, _really_ looking at him for the first time that night. Noel thinks he can see electric buzzing in the air because their gazes lock and he feels so hollowed out that it hurts. 

He barely has to move his hand before Cody's body goes rigid and his moans silence for a brief, agonizing moment, and he's coming _hard_ , whimpering and swearing colorfully. He makes noises that Noel has never heard him make before, and something like searing hot pride swoops low in gut. 

His hand is clutching Noel's T-shirt for dear life. He shakes with the aftershocks, trembling breaths and half moans stuttering out of his mouth. Noel crooks his fingers again as he pulls them out just to watch Cody's eyes cross and flutter shut. 

"Good?" Noel cooes. 

Cody doesn't show any indication of having heard him. He just stares, vacant, like there should be a "Closed for Business" sign hanging in his eyes.

Smiling to himself, Noel slips off of the bed and heads for the bathroom in search of a towel. 

When he returns, Cody is still in the same position he left him in, spread out on the bed. Noel cleans him gently. 

He tosses the towel to the ground with Cody's other clothes. "Do you want your boxers back on?" Noel asks. 

Cody only offers him a glazed look and a slow blink. 

Noel shakes his head fondly. He strips down to his own boxers and slips into the bed, pulling the covers over them both. Cody's still looking at him with that aching look in his eyes. 

"Stop looking at me like that," Noel says softly.

Cody blinks a couple times, coming back into awareness. He licks his lips and replies hoarsely, "Like what?" 

_Like you love me or something._

Noel reaches up to cup his cheek. "Nevermind," he laments. "Go to sleep." 

Cody obliges, snuggling close to him. Noel buries his nose in his hair and closes his eyes. 

He knows that, tomorrow, they'll wake up like nothing happened. They won't talk about the things they said - the things they _felt;_ about how Noel gave Cody a life shattering orgasm and looked into his eyes as he did so. They won't talk about how, despite their coupling being "casual," Cody never asks Noel to leave, and they always fall asleep together. Like this, in each other's arms, the mellow scent of Cody's shampoo lulling him to sleep.

They won't talk about any of it.

And that's fine.

**Author's Note:**

> writing smut is all im good for


End file.
